FROGBOY. THIS IS A THREAT. A WRITTEN, VERBAL, AND SINCERE THREAT.
Note: Legally, I have to say this is not a threat. However, it is. Trust me. Ever wonder how a woodpecker doesn't bash it's own brains in? I have. We'll find out, you and me. If you do not succumb to my demands.
So. Now that the ground rules have been established(not really.):
Whats the news on the patch? Will we have fixed things? New toys? Tell us or I will buy you a puppy, send you adorable photos of it, and send it through a wood chipper*.
*Okay, probably not a woodchipper. That would be mean. I like puppies. Maybe it would be a kitty. A whole litter of kitties*.
...*Okay, if it was kitties, I'd probably just put some meow mix by the end of the hopper and hope they wind up in their on their own. I mean, I have a soul and feelings. I assume kitties do too.