Things that should be in the game but never will be.

By dydx on May 11, 2009 9:09:39 PM from

-Rook should be able to shade the enemy citadel causing them a decrease in gold for the extra heating costs

-A bowl of warm milk is available from the artifact shop, it immediately causes all Sila's (sednas mount) to go to it when used (has 15 second cooldown as otherwise would be op).

-Unclean beast has a child friendly alternative back story about a very dirty boy who refused to take a bath.

-Regulus has an ability in which he gets a monacle, top hat and a suit with tails.

-Rook is able to transform into a shopping mall, friendly reinforcements enter him and cause an increase in gold income for 30 seconds. They leave after 30 seconds with new clothes and shopping trolleys

-Two regulus' in angel form can pick up an enemy DG and drop them off the map for an instant kill.

-When an enemy DG kills creeps causing them to fly in the air, UB chases them catches them in his mouth and returns them to said DG.

-Queen of thorns bramble shield acts as a disco ball, enemy creeps within its range have 10/20/30/40% chance to attend the rollerdisco. All allied creeps are automatically invited, the disco has punch and light snacks. Alcoholic drinks are available from the bar.

-If TB changes from fire to ice form too rapidly he forgets to put his pants on. If you continue to do this he explodes from the rapid temperature difference in his body.

-There is a chance that Chuch Norris will enter the map killing all DGs

-On drinking a health potion, DGs have a chance to find the golden ticket where they will get to ascend. To claim the prize you must text msg a certain number. THe number subscribes your DG to a subscription service which costs $5gold/minute. To unsubscribe you must text 'STOP' to the number.

I am sure i have missed some important things that need to be in, anyone help me?

+8 Karma | 25 Replies

This is stupid as shit, but really really funny. Nice Job.

So not what I was expecting when I clicked this link.

-Erebus' nightstalkers should dance in a conga line when following him around the map. All friendly Creeps have a 15% chance to join the conga line. If you have two erebus conga lines in one game, the game changes to top view and the players battle off in a 'snake' minigame.

Quoting Aezuth,

reply 2

Wow. That was... beautiful.

-After upgrading the finger of god, players have the ability to upgrade to "hand of god" in each reinforcement wave, a single armless hand (such as in adams family) is spawned. The hand is rather friendly, is mostly interested in shaking and getting new myspace friends. It is single (and looking for), interested in music and computer games.

quoting post

-A bowl of warm milk is available from the artifact shop, it immediately causes all Sila's (sednas mount) to go to it when used (has 15 second cooldown as otherwise would be op).

*mental image of several Sednas walking to their Silas from where they were dropped, going "bad kitty!" and waggling their fingers at them*

heh the warm milk was amusing

- The rook should say "I'm a real boy" when you click on him 5 times really fast

When 2 Demigods face eah other instead of fighting they should go in a dance-off , the one that wins gets to say youve been served and they explode in a green ball of shame.

-Oak's ultimate raise dead ward summons ghosts of Christmas past present and future which will scold Demigods who hoard their money instead of spending it on citadel upgrades for the good of everyone.

-Erebus' bite has a chance to turn other heroes undead. While undead that hero also gains bite and the ability to spread the fun.

-Queen of Thorn's Mulch Shambler creates an actual pile of mulch. Allied creeps can then begin a farm which will grow a variety of produce that can be sold at the market.

-Regulus has an ability in which he gets a monacle, top hat and a suit with tails.

I lol'd

-When rook throws his boulder, he should bowl it down the lanes, and if it hits a group of creeps and kills them all, a big alert should come across the screen saying "strike!" and the bodies are cleared from the lane. Each consecutive strike builds up your gold bonuses on the next lot of creeps you kill with that attack

-After drinking enough potions you must return to the citadel for the bathroom. Female demigods must go in pairs (or more) and spend 2 minutes or more inside. Male demigods may use the edge of the map if no-one is around. The amount of potion required to be consumed before needing a break is dramatically less on cataract.

Female demigods must go in pairs (or more) and spend 2 minutes or more inside. Male demigods may use the edge of the map if no-one is around.

Fantastic.

Oak should say the phrase "For the Emperor!" if you click on him too much. Or "suffer not the witch to live!".

one of the demigods should be able to become completely invisible, but only if no one else is looking. failure to do so will result it a critical lack of clothing. except queen of thorns, we wouldn't want a R rated game now.

Every potion you drink within a minute of each other adds a chance UB will accidentally spit on himself.

Rook has a chance to drop his hammer every hammer slam, the hammer is then replaced with a fluffy bunny that squeaks when it hits something.

Every fire nova has a chance to cause torchbearers's staff to be stuck in the ground which acts like a 3 second stun as he tries to pull it back out.

The more potions sedna drinks the greater the chance she'll try to ride a friendly UB and call him sila.

Last stand only occurs once per match, I mean come-on, it's called LAST stand.

Erebus occasionally comes outta mist upside down, it's tough putting himself back together!

Mardi Gras has been added to the artifact shop and is effective vs Sedna and QoT.

Throwable beads are now offered at items shops.

Balls of yarn have now been added to the item shop, to be used as a stun vs sila.

-An investment banker DG that steals gold from allies promising greater returns later. Similar to TB he has 2 forms 'white collar criminal' and 'company man'. Criminal form at level 15 moves away to escape extradition. Company man is able to 'bore the socks off' enemy DGs by talking about accounting, the spell grants a speed bonus when moving away from the banker and a slow when moving toward.

Rook has a chance to drop his hammer every hammer slam, the hammer is then replaced with a fluffy bunny that squeaks when it hits something.

I vote for this one...

Mardi Gras has been added to the artifact shop and is effective vs Sedna and QoT.

Rofl.

Players will be able to purchase beads at the artifact shop. The amount of beads it will take depends on the Sedna/QoT levels.

There should be a secret carnival shop that only assassins can use. There are 4 games to play:
Rook: Strength tester - have to hammer slam a pressure sensitive plate and make the bell ring
Regulus: Shooting Gallery - Have to knock down as many tin ducks as possible with an air rifle.
Torchbearer: Has to knock over three stacked milk bottles using fireball. Has 3 shots at it.
Unclean Beast: Uses spit to pop balloons, chance of being prize behind.

When you win a game, you get a giant fluffy minion plushie. This must be given to the QoT or Sedna player you have the biggest crush on.

This topic is win.

Bara

-All DGs need a story that is the result of what happens to them once they lose the competition and fail to ascend.

QoT works for victoria's secret
Erebus never gets over his nerf and spends his days ranting about what could have been
UB joins the circus.
Sedna becomes a crazy cat lady and breeds them
Regulus puts on weight and becomes a professional santa claus, is later arrested for urinating in public while drunk.
Torch bearer becomes a spokesperson for sexually confused teens after appearing on a metaphorical ad about being undecided on 'who you are'. He is later arrested for drug distribution.

The Oak's ability Last Stand should be swapped out for a new ability "The Black Knight". Instead of dying he loses a limb and regains 25% of his health. He becomes less and less useful until eventually he is a limbless stump hopping himself around the map trying to bite DGs legs off.

Sedna can call on the power of Greyskull, she gets a big sword, goes bare chested apart from a harness and Sila gets battle armor.

The Queen of Thorns Beetles should all grab instruments and start singing 'Lovely Rita' whenever QoT goes idle.

Remove Spit hurting towers, instead UB may cock his leg and pee on the tower, similar effect but he has to stay in proximity.

The Queen of Thorns Beetles should all grab instruments and start singing 'Lovely Rita' whenever QoT goes idle.

Along these lines, the Torch Bearer should sing "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash whenever one is active on the map.

epic

Quoting Annatar11,

reply 23

The Queen of Thorns Beetles should all grab instruments and start singing 'Lovely Rita' whenever QoT goes idle.

Along these lines, the Torch Bearer should sing "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash whenever one is active on the map.

Haha! I love that song ^^

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Things that should be in the game but never will be.