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The Sorcerer King is misunderstood

By on October 15, 2014 12:54:59 PM from JoeUser Forums JoeUser Forums

Frogboy

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All he wants to do is give you presents.

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October 15, 2014 12:56:29 PM from Galactic Civilizations III Forums Galactic Civilizations III Forums

I like presents!

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October 15, 2014 1:12:56 PM from Sorcerer King Forums Sorcerer King Forums

"Here take this flaming fireball from my hand... it won't hurt... much." - SK

For some reason, I'm reminded of the time somebody tried to offer me candy from inside a car as I was walking home from school.

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October 15, 2014 1:17:02 PM from Sorcerer King Forums Sorcerer King Forums

I've fell for his niceness before. 

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October 15, 2014 1:29:04 PM from Sorcerer King Forums Sorcerer King Forums

A life transforming experience, eh? Sounds like a motivational speaker.

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October 15, 2014 1:33:43 PM from Sorcerer King Forums Sorcerer King Forums


Is it the spell of making or the spell of destroying?

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October 15, 2014 1:49:46 PM from Sorcerer King Forums Sorcerer King Forums

Quoting AlLanMandragoran,


Is it the spell of making or the spell of destroying?

Do not fear me... this is making a new beginning against the old problems in this broken world. I'm only destroying things that are having a difficult time surviving. Think of it as pruning a bush. Some branches are never going to survive and will only cause problems in the future. I am making those branches into something useful. You do want to be useful don't you. Take these gifts and help me make this world into a better place...

 

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October 15, 2014 1:53:44 PM from Sorcerer King Forums Sorcerer King Forums

All life is precious to the SK, I suppose.

He's just redistributing energy, that's all. 

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October 15, 2014 2:12:52 PM from Sorcerer King Forums Sorcerer King Forums

Can we start worshipping him yet?

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October 15, 2014 3:39:41 PM from Elemental Forums Elemental Forums

455

Relias and Magesta face off against the Black Sorcerer, a villain of immense power and cruelty

 

Stop contradicting yourself Brad!

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October 15, 2014 3:49:29 PM from Elemental Forums Elemental Forums

"You can't bake a cake without breaking some eggs"

 

-SK

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October 15, 2014 3:50:24 PM from Galactic Civilizations III Forums Galactic Civilizations III Forums

Can he come to my birthday party? I want his gifts!

But doesn't every spell have its opposite?

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October 15, 2014 6:37:22 PM from Sorcerer King Forums Sorcerer King Forums

"Say hello to my little friend...' -SK

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October 15, 2014 11:28:00 PM from Sorcerer King Forums Sorcerer King Forums

As my player Lich character in D&D used to say

 

"I'm not evil. I am simply reallocating life force from an inefficient form, you, to more efficient form, me. I'm a conservationist at heart."

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October 16, 2014 11:55:19 AM from Elemental Forums Elemental Forums

Maybe we should ask him for a gift receipt? You know, in case we don't like the gift and want a full refund.

 

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October 16, 2014 12:27:14 PM from Galactic Civilizations III Forums Galactic Civilizations III Forums

After entering into the Sorcerer King lair, the visitor is confronted by the Sorcerer King who states in an annoyed voice "I am in the process of casting the spell of making. It will transform all life on the world into pure, magical energy."

"Ah, i see, but can i supply you with any magical artifacts to help you in that endeavour?"

"Excuse me?"

"I am a salesman of great repute and it came to my notice that you are in the market for some magical products. I have a stone of focusing, a transmutation cloth, a toad out of the vale of the happy people, a ...."

"Enough! How did you get in?"

"There was nobody at the gate and it was open, so i simply walked in. But how about some magical goods, i really have a nice assortment and i can offer a good deal on various ..."

"Shut up! I am rather busy."

"You did say that, but the spell you are casting is flawed."

"What do you mean flawed?"

"It will incinerate the caster."

"It will incinerate the caster? How do you know this?"

"The other Sorcerer King tried and he failed."

"Other Sorcerer King? Where is he?"

"You know that recently erupted volcano?"

"Yes, what has that to do with another Sorcerer King?"

"His Laboratory was where there is now a magma lake. But to get back to the topic at hand: Your spell is flawed."

"And where do you see that supposed flaw?"

"Clearly that rune of containment is wrong."

The Sorcerer King turns around and carefully inspects the rune for any problems. "There is nothing wrong with the rune. He is perf.....". Looking down he notices the point of a sword sticking out of his chest just before collapsing.

"It is time for you to be transformed into 'magical energy'. Boys, throw him on the pyre and let him burn to ashes."

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October 16, 2014 12:55:18 PM from Elemental Forums Elemental Forums

Quoting Thecw,


"Clearly that rune of containment is wrong."

The Sorcerer King turns around and carefully inspects the rune for any problems. "There is nothing wrong with the rune. He is perf.....". Looking down he notices the point of a sword sticking out of his chest just before collapsing.

"It is time for you to be transformed into 'magical energy'. Boys, throw him on the pyre and let him burn to ashes."

Ahhh... The old trick-a-scorcerer-king-into-looking-the-other-way-and-stab-him trick. Works every time. Remind me why this computer game is so long again?

Loved the dialog, Thecw.

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October 16, 2014 3:53:29 PM from Sorcerer King Forums Sorcerer King Forums

The grey, dreary, massive arch looms over him when he approaches the gate. Feeling insignificant and tiny, swallowing bile and ignoring the terror that creeps up his spine he reaches out and pulls the rusted chain next to the entrance. Telling himself 'I am brave, i can do this.' over and over again to gather whatever courage he can muster he waits for the gatekeeper.

With a groan of tortured iron the door opens and the gatekeeper looks down on his visitor. "What do you want?"

With a whimper he utters "Good afternoon, good sir. I am the apprentice of master articifer Craftwell."

An impressive and terrifying growl erupts from the gatekeeper's throat "What do you want?"

"Master Craftwell received a complaint that there is a problem with the delivered goods. Apparently they seem to burn to cinders and thereby making them unusable."

A hissing grunt from the gatekeeper interrupts the speech, but at least he doesn't look like he is going to kill anyone right here and now.

"My master has sent me to inspect the goods and resolve any issues. Therefor i really need to enter the estate."

Slowly the gatekeeper moves back and gestures for him to enter. He looks around and indeed everywhere there are burn signs.

"Ah, i see the problem. Luckily, i have brought the solution with me." Laughing nervously, he looks at the gatekeeper and explains "The solution is a solution, get it?"

The gatekeeper escorts his visitor back to the cart on which he has come, clearly curious and interested in what this solution might be. A gigantic canister is loaded on it, almost to heavy for the cart, it's axles bend almost to the point of breaking.

"The solution is in this container. With the attached hose we can spray it on everything that is not supposed to burn."

With ease the gatekeeper lifts the vat from the cart and carries it inside. "I can do it myself, you are not needed here anymore."

The hissing sound of the solution being sprayed inside is abruptly replaced by a whoosh and agonizing screams of pain.

The visitor smiles. This time a real smile and states "Ah, mister Aegethon did not read the warning label. Probably because i removed it earlier.". The hero takes the warning label from his pocket and throws it away. "HALON. Warning: Toxic on contact with hot surfaces."

Whistling the hero passes through the gate and heads for the Sorcerer King's abode. "I think i will pretend to be a travelling magic goods trader next."

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October 16, 2014 4:21:03 PM from Galactic Civilizations III Forums Galactic Civilizations III Forums

(Magic gun spell is cast)

BLOCK THIS!!!

(spell is blocked mostly)

"Owww, I heal to quickly!"

(cast spell of nuclear ending)

"TIME TO DIE!"

"wait, I'll make you my apprentice!"

"Okay, sounds good. How much do I get paid?"

"Ummm, nothing."

(cast spell of pocket picking. Money flies from his pockets)

"Your loaded you lier!"

"I need money to rebuild after the spell is cast!"

"Okay...TIME TO DIE!!!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is the sorcerer king a mithrilar?

 

DARCA

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October 17, 2014 2:35:10 PM from Sorcerer King Forums Sorcerer King Forums

Sorcerer King looks nice, I think I'll join him.

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October 18, 2014 7:35:04 AM from Sorcerer King Forums Sorcerer King Forums

"Good morning, Gracious sir."

"Who are you and what do you want of me?"

"I am Psy Cholog from the Ist Society."

"Ist Society?"

"We evaluate and mediate when there is a problem with the functioning of an employee."

"So?"

"Please don't blame me, but we received a complaint about your work ethics."

"My work ethics? Who made this complaint?"

"We are not allowed to disclose this information."

"Tell me who complained about me or die!"

"There are severe repercussions if we would disclose the information."

"I will show you severe repercussions, if you do not tell me!"

"You must understand, good sir, that there are worse fates than being killed. You understand, don't you?"

"Did the Boss complain about me?"

"I can not confirm or deny whether it was your Boss that made the complaint. But you know him. Going against his orders will be painful to say the least."

"OK, what do you want?"

"Just have a short talk with you."

"Just talking?"

"Yes."

"OK."

"Lets start. Recently you seem to find no joy in executing your given task, can you tell me why?"

"When i go near a village the people do avoid me, but they don't scatter in fear."

"And that is a problem why?"

"They should fear me. When i arrive their hearts and minds should freeze in terror. I really want to kill the lot of them and crush their little homes, just to instill fear and terror in the survivors."

"Then why don't you?"

"Because of the orders of the Boss. Something about diminishing base components which would adversely influence the effectiveness of his life's work."

"Ah, i see. So you are currently stressed out because of the limitations that are placed on your job execution. What do you believe would relieve you from this stress?"

"If i could go on a rampage, destroying a few things, i would feel better."

"OK, let me think about this a little bit.
Hmmm.
OK, i think i have a solution. You know the ruined city of Farfr Omhere?"

"Farfr Omhere? Is that not on the other side of the great rift?"

"That is the one i mean. If you go there you can destroy anything that is still standing, and your Boss won't have any problems with you destroying any base components."

"But that is many days of travel from here to the southwest."

"I believe you have sufficient holiday days saved up to afford this."

"But the Boss told me to stay in this area."

"I will discuss this with him when i will see him next. We can't have any further complains about your work, can we?"

"You are going to him now?"

"A soon as we are done here, i will be leaving for his residence. I will take full responsibility."

"OK, if you take full responsibility then it might be for the best. And i would enjoy pulverizing a few things."

After Vetrar leaves in a southwestern direction, the hero sets out for the Sorcerer King's lair. Contently he mumbles to himself "That's one. Now, how to deal with Aegethon?".


Moral of these stories:

You don't need might or magic to defeat a Sorcerer King, just a smooth tongue and a con-man's attitude; and a hidden sword to stab people in the back.

After the lessons learned from this no Sorcerer King should ever want to be "We are your friend" with anyone anymore.

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October 18, 2014 8:43:45 AM from Sorcerer King Forums Sorcerer King Forums

You know, some of you should try fantasy writing as a profession.

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October 18, 2014 8:56:14 AM from Sorcerer King Forums Sorcerer King Forums

Quoting Borg999,

You know, some of you should try fantasy writing as a profession.

Nay. This is about the limit of my language and story telling skills, so that is nowhere near good enough to be a professional writer.

I simply couldn't help myself, with a thread title like "The Sorcerer King is misunderstood" and a dialog box header in which your evil opponent states "We are your friend", it screamed for a humoristic response.

But thanks for the compliment.

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October 18, 2014 9:30:11 AM from Galactic Civilizations III Forums Galactic Civilizations III Forums

^^You have a chance if you try. Truly.

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October 18, 2014 10:49:52 AM from Sorcerer King Forums Sorcerer King Forums

Quoting Thecw,

Nay. This is about the limit of my language and story telling skills, so that is nowhere near good enough to be a professional writer.

I simply couldn't help myself, with a thread title like "The Sorcerer King is misunderstood" and a dialog box header in which your evil opponent states "We are your friend", it screamed for a humoristic response.

But thanks for the compliment.

Having read some self published author's via Amazon Kindle, I think you may be selling yourself short. Or at the least, talking yourself out of making some money and possibly enjoying yourself along the way.

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October 18, 2014 7:00:18 PM from Sorcerer King Forums Sorcerer King Forums

Leo in WI and others,

You people are far too kind.

I find these forums to be populated by civil, helpful and funny people. That is why i decided to make these 'story' posts. And the enjoyment i get from just a few nice responses is more than enough for me.

Even in my more serious posts i occasionally put some humoristic elements in it. And if someone then shows (s)he did get at least a small smile out of it, i would consider the time to put it in well worth spend.


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