I've known you for a while and I'll tell you Karl is right about your perspective on how the game is going being tied to how you are doing personally.
That's true from time to time and I get that... BUT - I don't think that was the case last night.
Try and be better about switching hats mid game. None of the old crew gives up on a games easily, so if we're fucking around it's because things are looking extremely grim.
I watched the game from last night. Honestly, folks were just making really bad decisions and playing like poop. When I get competitive, I keep trying to win. We crush it for the 1st 10 min. Then just seem to throw left and right. I honestly don't even know if people decided to start fucking around, thought they were making good decisions, or what. If you watch the replay, though, there were a lot of wtf are you doing moments. That sort of thing makes it more difficult for me to switch over to some sort of fun mode.
Anyway, read on if you likes...
Game start - 2 immediate kills for us in the jung (adc (pacov)/mid (swan).
we are doing great bot lane - thunder gets a kill on their adc, then goes a little crazy and gives a kill to their support hamming it up quite a bit (3:35 sec). Top lane is pretty even at this point, swan's ahead mid with 2/1/1 vs 1/1/0, we're way ahead bot.
8min in, karl ganks, I get a kill. Their yi is still not contributing anywhere and is just farming jung. I have 56 cs to jinx 28 and I'm 2/0/1. All other lanes still pretty much the same. We take drag.
9:31 we go for another kill on jinx and thunder gets it with an ignite tick. jinx 0/3/0 37 cs vs me 2/0/2 62 cs.
pain comes to bot lane with yi's 1st gank at 10:12. Enemy mid lane is at base - swan is at mid. Nami ults, I walk out of it avoiding cc. Thunder takes the wave. Enemy team in pursuit. Yi ults and tries to nab me, I blow my my heal and flash but easily get safe distance. Enemy team cc's thunder and he takes a pounding. Swan moves to ult in as tf. Thunder does a good job to get out safely using his kit. We are safe and clear. Swan ults in at a suicidal location so we try to back his play (he dies to 3 people if we don't try to aid him - yi kills off swan using ign leaving a low hp pacov/thunder in a crappy position with 3 of them still alive. Thunders stuck in pretty deep due to trying to support swan. yi flashes and ends up with a triple kill on the 1st time he left the jungle.
ok - so awful play... crap happens. 11:25 - karls been camping top just a wee bit to try to help bryff kill tryn. karl and bryff go full on ham to try to get a kill. Tryn gets away for a moment after being ulted by karl and killing bryff. Karl picks up trynd. Yi kills karl when both he and swain show up killing his overextended post dive buttox (2/1 kill their favor)
Back in bot lane, I'm dbl the cs of jinx 82 to 40. We take bot turret. Here I do something a little stupid or just not in line with what thunder does. He goes off to ward then then also continues his warding all the way mid. yi/nami/jinx try to nab me while I'm finishing a full wave. yi ults, I dodge another nami wave pretty easily, but yi has red and I have no peel, so I get offed pretty easily before i can reach a safe flashing distance. Nami flashes to land some cc during the exchange - jinx does nothing to contribute. Now, yi is 5/1/0.
12:52 thunder helps lock down a kill on swain. Karl uses his ult. Thunder gets another kill here due to ign. We lose top turret at 13:23 to trynd.
14:35 we get a 2nd drag.
15:07 swan makes a misstep and dies in a fight to nami/swain w/ karl aiding and ulting. karl goes full on ham monster and then tries to fight nami/swain. Thunder comes to assist, karl is already dead having killed nami though. Now, yi shows up and kills thunder who is fighting swain by himself. 15:34 I pick off swain who hangs around mid. At this point, trynd shows up and dives me along with yi at my tower while bryff is clearing top.
16:14 we take mid tower. 16:22 we lose bot tower to jinx (jinx has been pretty much out of the game for a bit now). Our team decides now is the time to go super ham attack on 0/3/3 jinx. Karl/swan/thunder chase after her. Bryff stays top and I chase towards the team having just come back to life. Swan ults and flashes to hit jinx with yellow card. jinx instantly cleanses it. Karl ults jinx. swain comes down to support. So now the fight is 3v3 with jinx nearly dead. Thunder ignites jinx (she has about 100 hp) and then kills her when his shield pops. This leaves swan/karl/thunder with me still chasing up behind. Swan stops to cs while karl/thunder continue pursuit of swain/nami... but yi is in bound. Our team has no ward out to see him coming (thunder has 4 wards up atm). Thunder ults and now has started a 2 man tower dive vs swain/nami (yi almost there). Swan sees this and starts moving away from csing and continues on his way... I'm still running... Yi show at 16:51 - 2 shots swan. 2 shots karl. 3 shots thunder. I'm finally at the fight right as the 3 of them die. yi ults (again?) and tries to pursue me. I get out, but have to blow flash to do so.
at 18 min we are grouping near top. trynd's a bit out of position so karl/thunder/pacov put some dmg on him forcing him to flash. Now, swain/nami/jinx rush up to aid. Karl ults trynd, trynd ults, nami gets a good ult off at a nice choke point were we don't have a ward placed (I miss a hit that might have killed trynd (but I had a ward and could have warded myself). Trynd gets out, bryff comes in. I almost get killed by swain because we still didn't drop a ward in the bush he was standing in (i finally do after I'm nearly dead) and kill swain with thunders assistance. Jinx gets picked off again by swan or bryff. 18:42, bryff and swan decide to pursue the nami into the jungle. Yi appears and kills swan. Bryff is then killed by yi (assist by nami/trynd).
21 min enemy team takes drag. We are grouped at this point and rush down mid and to try to take 2nd tower. Swain decides to try to stop us solo and gets wiped. A fight breaks out now 5v3 (our favor). Thunder goes on jix again. Karl decides to ult full hp trynd and drag him back to me (zoning me effectively..) Not surprizingly, trynd starts to wail on me by casting ingnite, autoing, and ulting. I have to quickly cast heal to get some distance, but I get chunked down to about 300 hp. At this point, yi appears, flashes in, and kills me. swan/thunder decided to zone out the support/crap adc. jinx picks up a kill on thunder and yi gets a quadra kill.
22:30 they take mid tower. 22:50 I make a bad play at mid and get cc'd to hell by swain/nami. My team chooses to flank them (go the long way) instead of coming through direct. My fault for getting caught. Everyone on the enemy team gets out. Swan/thunder chase the nami. Yi shows up and drops them both super low, but then he dies. Jinx, however, picks up 2 more kills here. Meanwhile, karl ults trynd under a base tower and swan manages to pick him off.
Anyway, game goes on for another 10 minutes, but I'm done reviewing it.
Anyway, I still don't know how to flip the switch and go to laid back me, but I need to find balance and not be all wtfbbq.